tomistree

Yes, winter lasts for at least one more month, but not for me. Today on this cold but sunny day I pack my bag. It has been quiet around here – winter wouldn’t  inspire me to write. Here and there I did write some thoughts down, but nothing really convincing. Weeks were passing, weeks of cold grey weather, weeks of presentations and exams, weeks of worried phone calls with family, weeks of headaches and bad sleep. One time out of the blue – I call it the peak of winter depression – I passed out on a Saturday night on the subway station at a time where usually people are on their way home from parties; drunk and lost. I was neither drunk nor lost, but people may have assumed so. Cold grey days went by and people say the usual oh time flies!, but honestly January felt like an endless hustle. I waisted my time on dump presentations for a class I couldn’t care less about. Just doing it for the credits. Never thought I would be that kind of student. Usually I like my classes and to be fair my Arabic class was fun! But besides that I can’t wait for the semester to be over. I can’t wait for winter to be over. 

There were good moments worth mentioning – let me give you an insight, a random note from a couple weeks ago:

It is Thursday night, February, candles on the table are nearly burnt down and Oskar the cat is snoring on my notes. He won’t let me study anymore I guess. It’s been a long tiring day. We spent it in the living room: Oskar lingering around always ready to be cuddled, my Arabic notes ready to be studied spread out on the carpet. But we are just watching our other cat – soon to be a mom. Waiting for her babies to be born. It’s quiet and we sit in front of her on the floor, endlessly stroking her fur – her breathing, heavy and fast, her eyes so tired. All day long we wait but nothing happens. She gets more tired as hours pass. Oskar and I wait, old playlists run and remind me of times when those songs accompanied days that seem distant now. We wait and my mind gets tired. Thoughts become dreams.

Later that night four tiny kittens were born and now, two weeks later, they just opened their eyes. Today’s entry is short; these days left no energy to be creative. But stay tuned – tomorrow I will travel somewhere warm and I will be inspired and I will stay there until my memories are full. And then I will come back to Berlin and bring spring along with me.